I find it interesting that we started riding the bus because our car died. But after some time went by, we realized that we did not want to put the money into fixing it, and we didn't want to spend the money for maintenance, fuel or insurance at all if we didn't have to. It's not because we are misers or trying to avoid responsibility. We made a conscious choice to use the money we would have spent on a vehicle and its maintenance on our son's education. We felt that if we sacrifice now, our dividends would pay off in the future. I am currently a student also, and my husband will be soon; we are willing to put our 'money where our mouth is'.
One of our friends on the bus feels the same. He rides to Vanderbilt Medical Center every day and has always spoken words of encouragement to our son. He tells me often that he watches how our son listens as we speak to him and let's us know he is impressed. I appreciate his perspective, because he also shared with me that all of his children are completing either undergraduate or graduate studies at prestigious universities. He is from Ethiopia where he made many sacrifices so his children could receive the best education available there. Then when they came to the United States, he made further sacrifices and emphasized to his children the value of what they were learning and how it would help them in the future. It has paid off for him and he assures us our sacrifices will pay off for us, too. We hope so...
Then there is the young family (husband and wife) with 5 children, all five years old and younger. The oldest two (4 and 5 years old) hold on to the sides of the double stroller, while the next youngest (3 years old) rides on top (yes, on the hood and handles) so the youngest two (almost 2 years old and less than 6 months) can sit in the seats inside the stroller. I am always amazed when I see them (we try to lend a hand) and impressed that this young couple is working it out; they both work and are doing their best to care for their family. So when the oldest and only boy of the bunch sees my son and asks can he sit with him or asks to look at his books, we encourage him to comply hoping it will give Mother a break and foster his curiosity. A small deposit that may pay off in the long run.
Or the young man we met recently who had picked up his young daughter from her home with her mother for a visit. As her father was paying the bus fare, she found them both a seat and yelled out 'Come sit by me, Daddy!' After he sat down, she made sure to put on her 'seatbelt' (imaginary on the bus) and his, too. Then she laughed to herself at being so imaginative since, 'This isn't really a car!' she said. After explaining all the activities of the week to him, she noticed another passenger getting a bus schedule that includes the corresponding area map. She asked her father to get one for her, after which, she proceeded to correctly point out where on the map his house was in relation to her own! I couldn't contain myself any longer and asked how old she was, and he replied 3 years old! There is an example of a young father that could be doing any manner of things that would offer him the excuse to not spend time with his daughter, but is making the sacrifice and hopefully it will pay off.
But on the bus we also see the polar opposite. We see and hear examples daily of children whose parents haven't yet understood the value of education or encouragement in a child's life. When a parent yells, 'Sit your a** down' or tells them they are 'bad' in front of everyone, you can't help but wonder what chance for positive reinforcement the child has. Or what opportunities the parent had themselves. So, within the same day, we could witness the broad range of sacrifice for the good of the children to selfishness than can lead to their detriment.
We hope to provide a positive example of what a family can be and achieve when working together toward a common goal. Our life and family isn't perfect by any means, but for that child that needs encouragement or just a friendly smile, or that parent whose children have all grown, we hope we can share a human connection and give back a little of what we have learned and gained from our journey.
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