There's Hope

Tonight our family had the privilege of being invited to a community meeting sponsored in part by MTA and the Metro Planning Organization (MPO) designed to inform and discuss Metro Government’s initiatives to improve public transit. Included in those initiatives are plans to expand public transportation routes, improve walking and bike riding options, and to create additional alternatives to vehicle congestion on streets and highways. There were several reasons mentioned why these initiatives are so imperative for Nashville and surrounding counties, but a few of them were the population increase we can expect in the near future, as well as the financial incentives and health benefits of using alternative transportation. Statistics show that families spend almost 20% of their income on transportation costs, and these costs can be significantly reduced by using some sort of public or alternative transportation at least some of the time. It was also mentioned that Tennessee ranks very high in adult and childhood obesity; the savings in our health care costs alone would make a huge impact on our economy if more people walked, biked or bused to their destinations.

I had the opportunity to express to the group the monetary savings we have experienced as a family in addition to the health benefits of walking and bike riding. I was also able to make a shameless plug for this blog, and for those of you that were at the meeting and reading this for the first time, it was a pleasure to meet you. It was great to meet some of the upper management of MTA and others who are considering or using public transportation more frequently. We were very encouraged by the turnout at the meeting, at how many Nashville residents are thinking and talking about transportation alternatives. The comments were insightful and the prospects for public transportation exciting. We all received a little chuckle at my comment noting that the location for the meeting about public transportation and walking alternatives was at a site almost half a mile from the bus stop on a street without sidewalks! So our family walked in the street or sloshed through the muddy grass along the way to attend the meeting, but it was well worth it.

To top of our evening, on the bus ride home we had an unfamiliar occurrence. On our bus route into East Nashville, there are usually one or more young men who must think that whoever uses the most profanity in each sentence (or every other word) wins a trophy. However, this evening the voice that rose above everyone else’s was that of one young man who was reading (very loudly) from a youth Bible. He was reading Psalms, at first hesitant and labored, but as the message got stronger, his courage and volume increased. I waited to hear some other young tough guy tell him to be quiet, but instead everyone respectfully listened. One of the other young men in the group even complimented him. As we were getting off at our stop, I thanked him for sharing his refreshing, positive words with us and encouraged him to keep it up. Today we were refreshed by community initiatives and a young man’s brave persistence. There is hope…

Their Stories....

I've realized that I started writing to chronicle my family's experiences while riding the bus. Last night, after talking to another friend on the bus, I realized that this is not at all about us, but this is about them and their stories, the people we meet on the bus that inspire us, not the other way around.

The first time I really talked to my friend she was getting on the bus one Sunday morning on her way to work. She works sometimes seven days a week to support her five children ranging in age from pre-teen to early twenties. She was waiting for the bus, bruised and in tears from being mistreated and harassed by her boyfriend. He is the continuation of men who have let her down and taken advantage of her vulnerability and lack of self-esteem. From that day forward and every other time I get the chance to speak with her, I remind her of her value to herself, her children and the world.

Over the course of time, I also learned that one of her daughters has a brain tumor that will eventually be terminal. Despite the difficulty of her daily life and the weight of her daughter's illness, my friend still has a sense of humor and a smile each time our paths happen to cross on the bus; as she says, 'Hell, without a sense of humor, honey, we would all be crazier than we already are!' She hopes her daughter will get better, but both know the chances are slim, yet each time they visit her they share memories and laughter; they don't worry about what they can't control. What a great perspective...

The people we meet on our bus travels give us a chance to look at our lives and realize that we all have so much to be thankful for, no matter what our present circumstances. My hope is to share their stories including the hopes, dreams and tragedies that they are dealing with and willing to share that inspire us and hopefully encourage you.

Running to Catch the Bus

There have been many times we have been literally running to catch a bus, or running after it. We try to make sure we are at the stop in time, but sometimes we don't quite make it, or the bus is running early (for a change). Most often when we are running to catch a bus it's because the previous bus we were on to transfer to another bus was running behind schedule.

This was the case last week when the bus we take from work and school was running quite a bit behind. Most drivers are conscious of the fact that riders going back to the depot are transferring to another bus to reach their final destination. Those drivers make every effort to get passengers to the depot ahead of time or at least on time. If the driver finds that he/she will be late, they will usually call dispatch to alert them that passengers are on the way.

Not the case with the late driver last week! Not only did he not make any visible effort to arrive at the depot on time, but he didn't call ahead to alert them of our delayed arrival! Everyone on the bus that had another bus to catch started getting anxious about their connection. It was later in the evening when the buses only run on the hour, so if we missed our connection it would have been at least that long before we were able to catch it again.

The funny part was when we got close enough to the depot, several passengers asked to be let off the bus so they could try to run and catch their connection as the buses were leaving the depot. A couple of ladies that ride our bus going home jumped off the bus, so my son and I decided we had better follow suit. Mind you, these ladies are not young, one of them is a mother of an adult son and she works six days a week, ten hour plus days. She jumped off that bus and bolted down the street as if her life depended on it! My eleven year old son couldn't even catch up with her, and I was so busy laughing in amazement at how fast she was going, I couldn't catch up either! When we finally got to the bus (of course, she got there first!) we called her 'Flo Jo' after the Olympic track star and she replied, 'I held the bus for you though, didn't I?' for which we were grateful.

Well, I teased my son for the next week that he let a woman older than his mother beat him to the bus. He was having none of that, so yesterday when the same lackadaisical driver got us back to the depot with 2 minutes to spare, we again jumped off close enough to bolt to the next bus. But this time, my son looked at 'Flo Jo' and took off running! He said, 'She's not gonna beat me today!' Again, I was laughing so hard at the two of them racing to the bus, I almost didn't make it myself! Well, true to his word, he beat her, but by the time we all made it on the bus and caught our breath, she said, 'You better wear your tennis shoes and eat your Wheaties, cause you're not gonna beat me tomorrow!' We roared with laughter at the anticipation of another 'run for the bus'.

Even in an Emergency

Well, the most interesting thing happened this past weekend that proves you can get just about anywhere you want to go on the bus. I went into work Saturday morning and thought my husband and son would be going about their day as usual. Around 11:00 I received a text from my son that they were at the hospital. Trying not to panic, and hoping they were just visiting a friend, I asked what happened. My son texts in reply that 'Daddy wasn't feeling very good, so we went to the hospital'. After I excused myself from work and checked the bus schedule (cause that's what you do when you ride the bus, emergency or not), I made my way to the hospital. After verifying that my husband was going to live (he had a stomach acid attack, possibly an ulcer) I found it interesting that everyone in the family (also after making sure he was okay) asked, 'How did you guys get to the hospital?' My son answered, 'Daddy told me to get my shoes on, we were going to the hospital, and we got on the bus!' They caught the bus in front of our house, and the bus dropped them off right at the hospital; proof positive, that you can get just about anywhere you need to on the bus! We would have taken the bus home after he was released, but his dear sister came to check on him and asked, 'Is it alright if I take you all home?' That was nice....

Education

OK, I promise not to make this a political forum, but I had an interesting conversation on the bus this morning about education. First of all, there is a pretty young woman on our first bus that has taken a kind interest in our son. She makes it a point of greeting him each morning and asking him specifically about school, what he's learning, how his grades are and his favorite subjects. It seems to bring her much joy to see a young person interested and articulate about what he's learning. When I asked her what she does for work, she mentioned that she is currently doing telemarketing, but also had a look in her eye that she would like to aspire to other things. Maybe her conversations with our son about the endless possibilities of education will continue to spark her enthusiasm.

Then as we walked to our next bus, a man I've never noticed before told us that he had wanted to ask my son what he wanted to become once he graduated from college. My son told him that he wanted to be an architect, and the man responded that he figured as much. I reminded my son how nice it is that people can see that he is serious about education and his future, without even knowing or ever speaking to him. Nice compliment.

But the conversation that sparked my attention the most this morning was with our friend from Ethiopia. He again told us how hopeful he is for our son's future, and how strongly he stressed education for his three adult children. His commitment has paid off: his two daughters are in line to become a lawyer and doctor, and his son a pharmacist. The interesting point he made was that a large percentage of students studying in this country are not born in the United States, and lamented that young people born in the U.S. take for granted the educational opportunities available to them. Being from Africa, he also lamented the lack of enthusiasm among African-Americans to focus on education and its empowerment, both financially and intellectually.

I promised not to become political, but sometimes conversations on the bus turn in that direction. What do you think, why has education become more important for some and less important for others in this country? What can be done to improve the situation? Please feel free to share your comments and thoughts about this and any other posts from this blog. Any questions about our bus commute and experieinces are welcome.

Promise to get back to more 'bus stories' next time, but just wanted to share the conversation.

Sacrifices Parents Make

I find it interesting that we started riding the bus because our car died. But after some time went by, we realized that we did not want to put the money into fixing it, and we didn't want to spend the money for maintenance, fuel or insurance at all if we didn't have to. It's not because we are misers or trying to avoid responsibility. We made a conscious choice to use the money we would have spent on a vehicle and its maintenance on our son's education. We felt that if we sacrifice now, our dividends would pay off in the future. I am currently a student also, and my husband will be soon; we are willing to put our 'money where our mouth is'.

One of our friends on the bus feels the same. He rides to Vanderbilt Medical Center every day and has always spoken words of encouragement to our son. He tells me often that he watches how our son listens as we speak to him and let's us know he is impressed. I appreciate his perspective, because he also shared with me that all of his children are completing either undergraduate or graduate studies at prestigious universities. He is from Ethiopia where he made many sacrifices so his children could receive the best education available there. Then when they came to the United States, he made further sacrifices and emphasized to his children the value of what they were learning and how it would help them in the future. It has paid off for him and he assures us our sacrifices will pay off for us, too. We hope so...

Then there is the young family (husband and wife) with 5 children, all five years old and younger. The oldest two (4 and 5 years old) hold on to the sides of the double stroller, while the next youngest (3 years old) rides on top (yes, on the hood and handles) so the youngest two (almost 2 years old and less than 6 months) can sit in the seats inside the stroller. I am always amazed when I see them (we try to lend a hand) and impressed that this young couple is working it out; they both work and are doing their best to care for their family. So when the oldest and only boy of the bunch sees my son and asks can he sit with him or asks to look at his books, we encourage him to comply hoping it will give Mother a break and foster his curiosity. A small deposit that may pay off in the long run.

Or the young man we met recently who had picked up his young daughter from her home with her mother for a visit. As her father was paying the bus fare, she found them both a seat and yelled out 'Come sit by me, Daddy!' After he sat down, she made sure to put on her 'seatbelt' (imaginary on the bus) and his, too. Then she laughed to herself at being so imaginative since, 'This isn't really a car!' she said. After explaining all the activities of the week to him, she noticed another passenger getting a bus schedule that includes the corresponding area map. She asked her father to get one for her, after which, she proceeded to correctly point out where on the map his house was in relation to her own! I couldn't contain myself any longer and asked how old she was, and he replied 3 years old! There is an example of a young father that could be doing any manner of things that would offer him the excuse to not spend time with his daughter, but is making the sacrifice and hopefully it will pay off.

But on the bus we also see the polar opposite. We see and hear examples daily of children whose parents haven't yet understood the value of education or encouragement in a child's life. When a parent yells, 'Sit your a** down' or tells them they are 'bad' in front of everyone, you can't help but wonder what chance for positive reinforcement the child has. Or what opportunities the parent had themselves. So, within the same day, we could witness the broad range of sacrifice for the good of the children to selfishness than can lead to their detriment.

We hope to provide a positive example of what a family can be and achieve when working together toward a common goal. Our life and family isn't perfect by any means, but for that child that needs encouragement or just a friendly smile, or that parent whose children have all grown, we hope we can share a human connection and give back a little of what we have learned and gained from our journey.

Our 'Bus Family'

A dear co-worker so appropriately stated, 'Bus folks are the best folks' and we've seen that to be true. We have met some of the most dear people while riding the bus that we may not have met otherwise. There is one woman who we now consider as a dear friend, like part of the family, that we met not long after we started riding regularly. She is a very attractive, well dressed woman who took an interest in our son. After talking with her often, we found out that she worked close to the school where I work and my son attends.

My son started playing the baritone last fall, and of course, had to transport it back and forth to school on the bus. The school band director found 'wheels' for easier carrying, and we proceeded to take it with us on the bus. We received quite a few stares and one woman asked, 'What the hell is that?!' But when this particular friend asked about our son's new instrument, she asked, 'When's the concert? I want to come.' And sure enough, the day of the concert, she took off work early and walked over to the school to hear him play a less than 30 minute concert with the band! He was delighted to see her, and thrilled even more that someone from our 'bus family' thought that much of him.

Then, there's the little girl (about 2-3 years old) who gets on the bus each morning with her grandmother. The grandmother works and is caring for her grandchild, a task many would find reason to complain about. But this grandmother, while toting her granddaughter, a stroller, and several bags, gets on the bus each morning with a big 'Hello! Good Morning!' to everyone. She gives us all this greeting even if she's had to run to catch up with our bus. There have been days when the child is obviously tired, and has probably been awakened at the crack of dawn to take one bus to the depot, and then another by the time we see her. But her hair is always neatly arranged with beautiful barrettes and bows matching her little outfit perfectly. By the time we make it to their destination, the grandmother's pleasant and polite example have prompted the little girl to tell everyone on the bus a sweet 'Goodbye!' even blowing kisses most days, until she steps off the bus smiling and saying, 'Bye driver!' It makes my morning each time!

But let me tell you about my 'Bus Mamma' who I see almost daily on her way to work. She rides the bus near our home and each time we get on the bus, she gives us a hardy 'Good Morning!' Then before she gets off at her job, she tells everyone 'Y'all have a blessed day!' I was simply drawn to someone who daily wishes well for others, so I started talking to her. I found out that she is in her late 60's and still working sometimes 6 days a week! She has more grandchildren and great-grandchildren than I can keep up with (she can, though!) and loves them all dearly. You would never be able to tell her age (I was shocked when she told me) because when not in work uniform, she is dressed to kill in matching colors, head to toe. When I asked her why she was still working, she made it clear it wasn't for the money (or that she particularly loves her job). She said, 'I could sit home and collect social security, but what for? That's not enough for me to live like I want to, and I like to be busy!' My kind of lady! This past summer she told me how she loved her garden and her yard, and looked forward to going home after work and turning up her music, cutting her grass, and working in her yard! How many people half her age can say the same?

But what endeared me to her the most is her practical wisdom and advice. After my son had an allergic reaction to several bug bites this past summer, he developed blisters and sores on his legs that were very painful and on the verge of infection. Without the advise of my mother (we lost her last year), and in a hurry to give him relief, I went out and purchased several expensive homeopathic remedies. When he hobbled on the bus the next morning to spend the day with me at work, my bus mamma took one look at him and said, 'Did you try peroxide? I use peroxide for everything!' I could have kissed her! Of course I didn't think of peroxide, it's way to simple and easy (and inexpensive)! We picked up a couple of .50c bottles and applied it several times a day and he's alive to tell the story today.

So, what makes 'bus folks the best folks' is the basic bond of getting to our destinations, wherever, whenever and how far they may be. Our paths are different and our destinations varied, but we are all moving forward in some direction. Riding the bus has helped us to appreciate that just because we don't use the same mode of transportation, we are all trying to get somewhere, even if the journey is long, or we have to 'transfer buses' on the way. Just keep moving. Just like my 'bus momma' said today in response to another rider's comment about not wanting to get up this morning: 'We need another deposit, so you got to get up and go!' Each day we can ask ourselves, what have I deposited today?